Refurbish

I used to be a different person. I liked books, I liked music. I could spend time without looking at a laptop or specifically social media. My last blog post here was when i came to US and thats when things started to change and I never really wrote again. A few days back my dad suddenly brought up my detachment from this page. He had followed it as an anonymous reader. He apparently liked it, well but you always like most things your daughter does. But it made me think that I liked things about myself which got washed away with all these changes that flowed into my life. Oh too much of retrospection, long story short I am back writing and wanting to do things I silently gave up for no reason. Ok there is a bad resin but lets not get into that. Why this picture? Well Now I have a fancy iPhone which clicks decent pictures and Photoshop Express app makes them presentable and I liked how this looked. There are so many things to write about and I can't really decide what to and what not to. In no particular order let me write a few things that I can compare about myself about 2.5 yrs back.

Cooking:: I have immensely improved cooking-wise. Before I made something and called it food and use to be so delighted that I could make an edible meal, now I can comfortable risk making a four-five course dinner and still not be satisfied. I take pride in my biriyani and desserts now. If i cooked food like the one on the left side of the pictures I would probably not eat it myself any more

Progressive Mass Increase:I have gained about xx lbs, yes its in double digits sadly and i have become more accustomed to quote in pounds gallons quarts pints miles and fahrenheit. There is little hope that US is going to adopt metric anytime soon and be a part of the sensible world. Hence I had to adopt their nonsensical one. I am thankful in this context is they don't force us to convert the distance to the stars in feet and inches.

MakeUp:I cannot believe myself when I can put HTML code snippets to change the color of the fonts and separate out paragraphs. I used to be completely oblivious to any computer skill. The monkey has learnt a few tricks! In this country marketing is everything. The right ratio of Marketing-Skill to Knowledge is 9:1 in this country. And the first stop to Marketing yourself is making yourself presentable. I have a drawer full of makeup now. I cannot give you a before after picture for that, because I had an empty drawer before.

P.S.I took a long time to decide which blogging site I should use. Blogger was the final answer. I saw someone use livejournal and found this cool feature where you could depict your mood with a funny smiley and I moved to My other blog. But I knew I did not like it there and never really wrote much. So I came back here to ramble.

Flight to USA

And so my journey began from the Kolkata domestic airport on 6th January 2012 to the Land of opportunities as the people like calling it here . USA. Kolkata to Delhi by Kingfisher was fine except the crappy airlines food. IGI was fine except all the charging points there did not work.

Delhi To Heathrow was awesome. I was upgraded to business class with huge reclining seats. There was a packet with a headset and another something which i instantly pocketed rather bagged (You know the Indianess!) And so i comfortable settled with Twilight, the book determined to hold off sleep as long as possible so that jet lag does not take over me. But eventually dozed off in the comfortable chairs. When i woke up the neck was immensely paining being in the wrong way for hours. I love food which is pretty apparent from my Spherical cute tummy(as my brother calls it... although i vehemently disagree) so the sight of bacon mushroom scrambled eggs bread brownie and juice made me quite happy. Reading my book and trying to sleep every which way so that my neck does not hurt I reached LHR and found that packet contained the inflatable neck pillow. Oh Snap :(

Heathrow was a humungous airport. From the terminal all the passengers took the tube and their respective busses for the next terminal, mine being Terminal 3. I was extremely concerned about my luggage and confirmed that they have safely reached with me. Then i had to go in through a security check to enter the terminal. I have always hated Brits (may be because the ruled us for 200 years or whatever!) and the strip search did not do anything to change my outlook. First they took away my medicated Anti-Dandruff Shampoo and Conditioner :( Then to make make it worse they made me unpack my entire handbag which mom had packed so efficiently to fit in tons of stuff. But then cam the golden words. "Mam, Please step inside and take of your belt and shoes, then went my sweter, tee shirt and finally i came clean with all the pokes around my waist inside my jeans. The terminal had a phone and I desperately wanted to call up Dad as i knew he would be getting tensed since my flight had landed about an hour back. BUT no money :( I went ahead to the the American Express Foreign Exchange to get robbed. The gave me 1.5 pounds in exchange of 1.5 pounds. Called up home and finally heard mom dad bro and boudi.

Nest rushed to the terminal for boarding and found out that there are 62 pieces of luggage that has not yet been handed over by British Airways to American Airlines(the one I was going to board) and both of mine were in that list. The official said that there was still 35 mins to take off and they would probably arrive, but guess what, they did not. The flight was ok. The food was nice. But when I remembered that I needed that neck pillow I also remembered it throwing it back on the seat in the business class from my bag out of frustration of not using. This being just economy class did not have those amenities. Finally Destination arrived after sitting on plane on 10.5 hours. Finally i am on US soil. Standing the conveyer belt and preparing to heave off two 24 kg boulders with red and blue bows, my luggage if you cant make that out already. No they aren't there.

The pretty American Lady on the counter of the Baggage Services went on on and on how disappointed, angry and frustrated with American Airlines since they lost her Bags in spite of buying 2 tickets and my disappointment, anger and frustration was climbing every minute which was totally because of her incessant blabbering. Finally after a 45min wait i walked out with a receipt for my delayed bag. Looking, still searching and now completely panicking, there is no one to receive me at the airport and i cant find a pay phone. A very helpful gentleman let me call from his phone and after another 45 min wait finally I was picked up by Suresh Bhai (ISA) from the Airport and dropped at my temporary accommodation. Oh don't you think that since I said finally my story ends there. There is a lot more, but i guess you have the same kind of headache I had after 28 hours of travel just by reading this, so I will give you some time to have an Aspirin and come back.

Shosti...

Shosti always brings swirls of happiness and excitement in every Bengali's heart and soul. All plans are set. All preparations done. Its a day when the long wait is over and finally the heart indulges in all its desires. But it also brings the countdown to its final stages. Four days more and all will be over beginning the long wait all over again. You obviously know what I am speaking about, Durga Pujas. But why suddenly now on the 2nd of January?

I have never known really how it feels to be away from home. I was always with family or in close proximity of them for my entire life. But the days are counted now. In just 4 days i will be half a world away from them. Its shosti today.

I am excited, there is not a shred of doubt in that. Neither in the fact that I am tensed, worried and scared. Questions and doubts popping in my mind all the time. When will I get a phone and talk to my parents, when will I get to buy a laptop and see them, will I be able to cope with studies after a gap of 1.5 years, how will i live with 3 Chinese girls, how will I feed myself 3 meals and day...



I planed for this my entire life. I ways always fascinated by the sky,stars, spaceships, astronauts. Everytime I found informative books I always looked for these. Funny but I was interested in Tintin comics because i thought that there were all about space since i read two in a row 'Destination Moon' and 'Explorers on the Moon'. Shidney Sheldon generally attracts teenagers for the the sexual stuff but Dooms Day Conspiracy had the added advantage of a UFO. Sounds dramatic to myself but I hope I can keep this interest till the end.





Although my decision to study abroad was not mine alone, yet as I get nearer to the execution of this decision i find myself alone. For once in my life I am not going to be scared of being alone and ruin it, for once I am going to be responsible for what I do and I have the most important support... my parents.

Bye bye 2011

Not only to 2011 but as this year is coming to an end I have to say a lot of Good Byes...
Tomorrow will be the last day in my School... Army Public School, Barrackpore. The place which I never thought would make me this sad. The worst part of the school was getting up 5.30 in the morning. Shit i hate that a lot... bathing in freezing winter months. In the last 1.5 years i have made friends and foe here. and there have been indifferent colleagues too, but what i most enjoyed and loved were the children. teaching them laughing with them, playing with them, scolding them. I always thought i dislike teaching but it turned to be different. i actually like it and i wud have never known this if I had not landed up here due to the scoldings of the principal over the phone. All these gifts and cards and best wishes makes me happy more than sad. They tell me i touched so many lives and i wud have never realized if i was not here. While I say Good bye to my first proper workplace, I take away happy loving memories... of my friends and my students...

Bye bye from the life of independence and being grown up and earning and welcome to slogging as i get back to studies, but this is what i wanted... Yet earning and spending as i want was fun. Contributing to the family gave a sense of responsibility, taking parents for movies and dinner was rewarding, Its a bye bye to all those moments.

Its bye bye to being sad and finding the embrace of your parents, waking up to dad's loving touches in my hair, mom's curses to finish the food on the plate and long philosophical conversations with bro. Oh those Saturday morning where literally mom and i had fights over the saree being properly draped before i went to school and missing breakfast because all these fights invariable made me late.

Bye bye to South City, my fav haunt to meet my best friend. all those rushes to be home on time from and catch the metro and the bigger rush of reaching there on time to meet him.

Bye bye to the banks of Ganga which always made me nostalgic and all the more romantic, to Kolkata...

Blue

I never understood why feeling sad was also called feeling blue. I always loved the color, all its shades may except the ink blue. Feeling sad could have been feeling black or grey or purple, but without much further contemplation and analysis.... I AM FEELING BLUE.

As days rush by or may be not rush, as days go by I feel more and more aimless, confused and disorganized. A career, parents, boyfriend, siblings, friends and the The Past and My Happiness all a blur. One tries to either suppress the other or provoke the other. Parents trying to provoke the career, career trying to suppress my happiness, and happiness in return trying to suppress parents, see how the cycle works? Well I too see how the cycle works but its throws me off when i try to understand it.

Lets analyse each other individually....

1. Career : I dont like teaching in the first place and having to do it everyday makes it awful. Ok, thats not true completely. I like teaching as in the classroom teaching but the copies and the politics and the colleagues makes me wanna run away. Every job has its trade-offs. As a school teacher I cannot complain about my salary, comparing with others its pretty good, in fact great. But when i think is this what i really wanna do the instant answer is NO. Is this where i see myself 5 years down the line, again NO. Is this how much I will earn and have increments on, NO NO NO.

2. Parents : They seem distant and stubborn. trying to get me to do the right things for my life. Like getting a degree in teaching and then permanently getting to settle me down to a "job which is very appropriate for a girl". Why is teaching considered a great job for the female society? because a girl can balance well with the family and job front and leave the job whenever the need arises. the other grave problems that the parents face is marriage of the girl i.e. for my parents its me.

3. Boyfriend : Amidst all the problems the small ray of light soon to be extinguished as he find greener pastures in the career front and messing up a lot of things further. And when this is published a phone call as to what the problem is and coming up with bizarre solutions.

4. Siblings : Only one in my case but creating problems so many. Now i have to break down in sub topics for this one. First being the fact that he is getting married and clearing up my way which i dont want at all! Second encouraging me to do something i was very confident off and then backing out leaving me alone and confused. Third giving me crappy advice and messing me up and me ending up fighting with him and speaking harsh unwanted truths.

5. Friends: The best part in ones life that has turned sour for me. My dearest and best living a more happy life that me makes me jealous and want to have a life like them. Well not all of their life but some part of it. Not only they life thousands of kilometers apart from me but not being able to pour my heart out to them makes life so much more difficult and unbearable.

6. The Past: Haunts me and torments me. I just cant get out of it and when i forget it for a few moments, it slaps me in the face and comes back, sometimes with incidents, sometimes with words some times with actions and sometimes as a nightmare.

7. My Happiness : Hopefully I find it soon, otherwise all weird thoughts shroud my mind to bring it to reality.

Mahalaya

This day has been very special to me always....right from my childhood. Yhe 4'o'clock radio show "Mahisasurmardini" is indisputable part of Mahalaya. Its marks Beginning of Durga Puja Celebrations. The significance of the day is the offerings that are made by the people towards their ancestors. When i was a small girl i always tried to listen to the full radio show but eventually fell asleep in my fathers laps with the tunes of "Ya devi sarvabhuteshu...." This year after the show we went to the Ghats of Ganga (bank of the river) and my father and uncle made their offerings. I got busy with the camera. Though i would not brag and boast that it is my hobby according to popular trends but i do like capturing people in their natural way and reaction...i hate smiling faces and tilted heads posing for a shot. As i was clicking some guys who seemed professional photographers one of the more handsome guys suddenly turned towards me to aimed his lens and caught me totally off guard. On the way back I drove after a long time through the drizzle back home with mom serving luchi, cholar dal and hot jalebi...


Some of the shots i took today....

One of Those Days

Yesterday was not one of those days that is normal. It started on a pretty bad note....i called my best friend on her birthday and found her phone switched off...then i tried for her boy friends with the same response.... finally i gave up and fell asleep. In the sleep i felt a shooting pain up my calf muscle and saw the muscle has gone rock hard....somehow i got my self a little relieved of the muscle cramp and fell asleep again.It was a Saturday morning and i reluctantly wore the Saree and stepped out in a pair of medium heals to School. It was as if the nights discomforts had multiplied itself by 10 in every step i took in those heals. i had a busy day in school since it was report card distribution for my kids and had a pretty hard time with the muscle craps, heals and Saree which resulted in two huge blisters, one on the small finger of my left foot and the other on the thumb of the right foot. To raise the multiplication factor by 10 fold my slippers tore.... so now i ended up having muscle cramp, Saree, blisters and barefoot. Blisters and Barefoot is definitely one of the worst oxymoron as i discovered. so barefoot i walked all the way to the bus stop....got on to two buses (damn i missed the the direct bus). finally i reached home after another long walk from the bus stop.



I ate hurriedly dressed up and stepped out again this time treading on my comfortable floaters and thanking it all the way for what a great job it did protecting my feet. Met my friend in Mani Square, chatted for a while before we entered Screen 2... "PREDATOR" . Th Green Jungle, Green Guns(very fake compared to a Hollywood movie) and Green Blood of the aliens was all that was expected but yet it was great with Not-So-Green cheese popcorn(Not-So-Green cause of the Added Flavors...i just mean synthetic) and soft drinks....the movie ended. the next was definitely the best... zooming at 145 km/hr in the empty roads of Rajarhat...passed those yellow street lights towards the red tail lamps o far away cars. The bends, the whooshing wind and the darkness....the best ever.

finally on the way back i met my best friend at her place...she had come down on her birthday as a surprise to her parents and so her cell was out of range in the train last night. On the way back home i got my favorite chocolate (Cadbury Crackel for future references) and dropped right on my door steps.Its was one of those days when finally i ended up sleeping with a smile...